How to Make Your Girlfriend Want to Have Sex With You

So you've reached that point in your relationship where you want to take it to the next level. Some people think that sex is no big deal, but others see it as something they only want to share with an extra-special person. Although you never want to force your girlfriend to have sex with you, you can always soothe some of her fears and reassure her that you really are a person she can fully trust. After you do this, sex comes naturally.

Part 1 of 3: Build Her Trust

1. 1
   Be dependable. If you want to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you, then you should show her what an amazingly dependable guy you are. If your girl is going to trust you enough to have sex with you, whether it's her first time or if she's had sex before, then she has to feel like she can depend on you. One of her fears may be that as soon as you have sex, she won't be able to rely on you anymore because you would have gotten what you wanted. So, prove her wrong by being an upstanding and dependable guy.

   • Show up when you say you're going to show up. If you routinely pick her up half an hour late for your dates, she'll think that you don't think she's so special, and she'll be less likely to have sex with you.
   • Don't be a flake. If you say you're going to take her to the beach over the weekend, do it. If you don't stick to your word, she won't be able to trust you.
   • Be her rock. Let her talk to you about her problems and insecurities while knowing that you can make her feel better.
   • Don't go hours or even a day or two without returning her phone calls or texts. This will make her feel like she can't depend on you.
2. 2
   Give it time. Some guys can be ready to have sex with a girl in the time it takes to down a beer, while some girls can take months, or even longer, to decide that they're ready to make love. And some girls -- sorry, gentlemen -- are really adamant about holding out for the one, and don't even want to have sex before marriage. So, don't rush into it -- wait for the girl to trust you first.

   • If your girl is barely comfortable with kissing, then you shouldn't bring up the "s-word" for a while.
   • However, if you and your girlfriend are already comfortable hooking up in bed all the time after just a few weeks, then you can start thinking about taking it to the next level.
   • If you want to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you, the worst thing you can do is bring it up or try to force it when it's way too early. This will turn your girlfriend off and will make her much less likely to sleep with you.
3. 3
   Don't act like you're obsessed with sex. Let's face it -- if you're a male of a certain age who is desperate for his girlfriend to have sex with him, then you probably are obsessed with sex. But that doesn't mean you have to make jokes, innuendos, or even blatant references to sex all the time. The last thing you want your girlfriend to think is that you're a horndog who is so obsessed with sex that you don't care which lady comes into your bed. You should make her feel special, like you want only her.

   • You don't have to hide the fact that you're a man with needs, but you should avoid being vulgar, talking about sex all the time, or talking about other people who have sex all the time.
   • Don't make derogatory comments about other women. This will make your girlfriend feel like a piece of meat. Remember that you're not with your bros, but with your special lady.
4. 4
   Be loyal. If you want to make your girlfriend trust you, then you have to be loyal to her. She'll never have sex with you if she thinks you're talking to or checking out other women, or even hanging out with other women. Though you don't have to be rude to or ignore other women, you should have a laser-sharp focus on your girlfriend so she knows that you will always be there for her, especially after you start having sex.

   • Spend lots of time with her. Make sure that you plan at least one or two dates every week and that you check in with her at least once a day if you're not together.
   • There's a difference between being loyal and being possessive and smothering your girlfriend with affection. You should make a point of seeing her when you both want to hang out, but don't try to see her 24/7 or she'll begin to pull back.
   • You should not only show your girl that you're loyal by being loyal to her, but by showing that you're a loyal sibling, friend, and teammate. Show loyalty in many aspects of your life and your girl will be impressed.

Part 2 of 3: Treat Her Well

1. 1
   Treat her like a lady. If you want your girlfriend to have sex with you, then you should treat her like a lady, not just like someone you want to hook up with. To do this, you have to be a gentleman and be courteous, kind, understanding, and generally admirable. Open doors for her, give her your coat when she's cold, pull out chairs for her, and help her carry her heavy bags.

   • Make sure to compliment her to let her know how great she looks or how special she is.
   • It's important to be a gentleman, but don't do anything that feels too unnatural to you, or she'll be able to tell that you're not being yourself.
2. 2
   Clean your home. This may sound silly, but if you want your girlfriend to really feel special, then you shouldn't invite her to hang out at your place if it looks like the set for World War Z. You need to make sure to remove any dirty laundry off your floor, clean your counters, and make your bed look and smell as clean and inviting as possible.

   • Not only will this make your lady feel special, but it'll make her feel more inclined to have sex with you. She won't want to get it on if your bed is covered in candy wrappers and dirty underwear.
   • If you drive her around a lot, you should also keep a clean car. Give your lady the respect she deserves by making sure she has a clean seat.
3. 3
   Show an interest in all of her -- not just her body. Your girl's biggest fear may be that you don't care at all about her mind because you're too busy obsessing over her body. So, you have to prove her wrong. Show her that you are about who she is as a person, about her hopes and dreams, and about what makes her tick.

   • Ask her about her friendships, her childhood, and her favorite experiences.
   • Show her that you value her opinion. Ask her what she thinks about the current political situation in your state, or about the look of your new outfit.
   • Make eye contact when you talk to her. Show her that everything she says is important to you.
4. 4
   Take her out on romantic dates. If you want to build the sexual tension, you have to build the romance first. Make her feel special by taking her out, dressing up, and picking a romantic spot for dinner, a drink, or even just for stargazing. You don't have to do anything corny or out of your element to make her feel special.

   • Though you and your lady can have fun at baseball games, birthday parties, or at a loud, sweaty concert, these events will be less conducive to lovemaking.
   • Doing something romantic once in a while will show your lady that she really matters to you.
5. 5
   Be attentive to her needs. If you're not attentive to your lady's everyday needs, then how will you be attentive in the bedroom? Your girl needs to feel like you know when she's sad, nervous, anxious, or even just cold or hungry. Pay attention to her eyes, her body language, and her words to know if there's something bothering her. If you act completely oblivious when she's obviously upset about something, then she'll think you're not really paying attention to her.

   • If something's wrong, don't be afraid to ask her what's up. This will only show that you care.
6. 6
   Make sure she's ready to have sex. If you really want to treat your lady well, then you have to be able to have an idea about whether or not she's ready for sex. If you're her first boyfriend, if she's sexually inexperienced, or if she's deeply religious or has other moral convictions that make her steadfast about not having sex, then you should back off and wait for her to trust you enough to even consider having sex with you. But here are some ways to know if she does want to have sex with you:

   • If things have been getting hot and heavy in the hook up department, then she may be ready to move forward.
   • If she's been talking about sex, giving you sexual compliments, and touching you a lot more, then she may be ready for sex.
   • If she's been hinting that she wants to sleep over, spends a lot of time in or near your bed, or invites you over late at night, then she may be ready for more intimacy.
   • If she has deep moral or religious convictions that make her not want to have sex, don't try to force it. Accept that some girls will never have sex until they're married and that there's nothing you can do to change their mind .

Part 3 of 3: Turn Her On

1. 1
   Be prepared. If you plan on trying to have sex, or even talking about having sex with your girl, then you should be prepared with some condoms in case the mood strikes her. This doesn't mean that you should flash the condoms or make her feel uncomfortable, but it does mean that you should have some backup just in case things do go in a favorable direction.

   • If she wants to have sex and you have to run out to the drugstore for some condoms, this may make your first sexual experience fall flat.
2. 2
   Set the mood. If you want your girl to have sex with you, then you have to set the mood. You should start the evening by doing something romantic to soften her up. Then, go back to your (clean) apartment, which should be stocked with red wine, grapes, chocolate, and some light jazz on the radio. Light the candles and turn the radio on to get her in a romantic mindset, and offer her something to eat or drink.

   • If this feels corny, you should only do what makes you both get in the mood. If you just want to dim the lights instead of lighting candles, then that's fine too.
3. 3
   Kiss her. If you want your girl to have sex with you, then you have to be a master kisser. Even if you've been kissing for a while, you should still know how to kiss her in a variety of ways and make your kisses feel fresh. Don't overwhelm her and grope her the second you lock lips. Instead, take it slow, grazing your lips as you touch her hair or stroke her face.

   • Take breaks from kissing so she has time to come up for air and want you even more.
   • You are not very likely to have sex with your girlfriend if all you've done is kiss. It takes a bit longer for things to reach a natural progression.
4. 4
   Play hard to get. If you really want to make your girlfriend want you, then you shouldn't act like a sexual beast, moving rapidly from kissing to touching, to ripping off your clothes and practically levitating into the bedroom. Instead, you should kiss your girlfriend for a few seconds, then hold back, stroke her, and talk to her. Repeat this move a few times and wait for her to go wild.^[1]

   • Why does playing hard to get work? Because this will make your girlfriend feel like you like her, but that you're in control of your desires and aren't desperate to get your hands all over her -- even if you are.
   • This move will make her want to be the one who asks for more.
5. 5
   Touch her. If you want to turn on your girlfriend, you can start thinking about doing more than just kissing. Begin by lightly caressing her arms, the back of her head and hair, and then, as things progress, stroke her breasts under her shirt or wait for her to touch you. If your clothes are off or partly off, you can kiss her breasts or touch her through her underwear and remove her bra with your teeth,and touch her whole body to get her in the mood.

   • Just make sure that your actions are reciprocated -- if you're touching her and she just lies there and doesn't make noise or do anything, then you're probably making her uncomfortable. Make sure she's ready for more before you proceed.
   • If you're already in the bedroom and hooking up, then you can simply ask her if she's ready to have sex with you. This doesn't have to be elaborate or corny -- just say, "Are you sure you're ready?" and be prepared for any answer.
6. 6
   Don't ever pressure her. If your girlfriend says she's not ready to have sex with you, then you shouldn't pressure her. Don't try making any arguments -- saying things like, "But we've been together for so long," "Everyone else is doing it," or "But I really, really like you," isn't going to make her feel any better. In fact, trying to reason with her will only make her more frustrated, annoyed, and much less likely to sleep with you.
7. 7
   Be a good judge. Learn to translate her reactions, don't insist when she is against. There is always a tomorrow to make another try. It advisable to try a "turn on" when her mood is good. Feelings cannot be feigned since they are a function of the mind. Good timing and taking matters easy will ultimately make her mellow down no matter how long the process may take.

How to Tell when a Guy Is Using You for Sex

Do you feel like your man is always "so busy" –– until it's time to get busy? If so, then your man may not be in it for much more than what you have to offer between the sheets. If you want to know if your guy is really just using you for sex, then see if he fits the bill. The truth may hurt, but knowing that you're with Mr. Wrong can bring you one step closer to finding Mr. Right.

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Method 1 of 4: How He Contacts You

1. 1
   See if he only contacts you after dark. If your guy only calls you hours after the sun has set below the horizon and the stars come out, chances are, it's not because he's in the mood for stargazing. Though it does mean that he's definitely in the mood. If you never hear from him until after-hours, unless he's a doctor with an insane schedule, it's likely that it means he only has sex on the brain.
2. 2
   See if he only contacts you on the weekdays. If he gets in touch with you on week nights but you almost never hear from him on the weekends, it's because he's reserving the weekends for his Grade-A tail, or for the women that he actually thinks are worth dating. If you never hear from him on Friday or Saturday nights, but come Tuesday, his schedule is wide open, then it's because he expects your legs to be wide open, too.^[1]
3. 3
   See if he only contacts you sporadically. If you only hear from him once or twice a week, and it's not to set up a date, but to come over right now, then he may just want you for sex. If you can't get a hold of him when you want to see how he's doing for five days, but suddenly he's blowing up your phone at midnight on a Wednesday night, then he must be ready for some more late night lovin'.
4. 4
   See if he doesn't respond to you unless you want to hook up. If you text him to say, "How's your day going?" or "How was your big test?" and you hear nothing but the crickets in the woods behind your house, then he doesn't want to make small talk. But if you text him a casual "I want to see you," one night, and you can already hear him put his foot on the gas pedal, then you have a problem. ^[2]
5. 5
   See if he's always "so busy." It's okay to have a busy schedule, but if it means your guy can never make time for dinner and a movie but can always make time for some catching-up between the sheets, then he's not busy -- he just wants to get busy. If you know that he has time to hang out with friends, go to sporting events, and spend hours watching TV with his brother, but when he's too busy to grab coffee on a Sunday afternoon, then he just doesn't want to make time for you.
6. 6
   See if he never invites you anywhere. If he only calls you to "hang out" at your place, or to spend some time "catching up" on the couch of his dirty apartment, then he doesn't really want to do anything that doesn't involve your body. Sure, the occasional drink or fancy dinner can be his way of "making it up to you," but if you feel like you almost never see the outside world together, then he doesn't want you to be a part of his everyday life for a reason.
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Method 2 of 4: What You Do Together

1. 1
   See if you never talk about your personal lives. If all you do is talk about hooking up or how much you want each other, then your relationship is mostly about sex. Sure, many relationships can start off like that -- you're obsessed with each other, you're always having sex, you're missing invitations to have sex, etc -- but if it's been a long time and you haven't progressed past the sex sex sex phase, then your relationship may not be deeper than that.

   • See how he reacts when you ask him what he's thinking, feeling, wondering about. If he immediately backs off, then you have a problem.
2. 2
   See if it feels like all you do is sex. Are you spending an infinite amount of time in the boudoir? Is this balancing out with a whole lot of other activities together or is it the main (or even only) activity the two of you spend together? If it is taking up more time developing a range of interests together, then it is probable that he is only interested in your relationship for the sex.

   • Even if it's not literally all you do, if you feel that way, then you have to follow your gut.
3. 3
   See if he's quick to leave after a love making session. Does he rarely or never stay the night? If so, you're one of his nightly activities, not the love of his life. If he'll give you perfunctory kiss, and then start throwing on his clothes, then he doesn't want to spend the night with you because it will feel too much like you have a real relationship. And if he always offers a convenient excuse for why he has to go, then that's even worse.

   • Sure, he may tell you that he has to wake up wicked early. But then why did he wait until 1 a.m. to come over to your place?
4. 4
   See if you never kiss without it leading to sex. In most relationships, people kiss just to show affection, to feel a connection, and to be intimate in a quick and enjoyable fashion. You can just be kissing when you're taking a walk, kissing in a dark bar, or just because you have the urge on a Monday morning. If every time you kiss your man, he starts reaching for your x-rated body parts, then he may think that he should only kiss you for some sexy time.

   • Check out his level of affection. Does he ever want to snuggle, cuddle, or hug just because? If not, then it may be because he wants one thing only.
5. 5
   See if you've never hung out with his friends. Have you been hooking up for months, but you've never met a single one of his friends? Does he hang out with his friends all the time without you but never invite you out to join him? That's because either he's too embarrassed to bring you around, because he doesn't want to invest that much in your relationship, or even because there may be some other girls hanging around who he wants to keep away from you.^[3]
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Method 3 of 4: What He Says

1. 1
   See if he never reveals personal information. Guys who are using a woman for sex often give few details about themselves. Have you gleaned what you know about him from friends, personal observation, general conversations, or has he really volunteered personal and revelatory information about himself to you? This is a very telling point, so it is worth considering carefully.
2. 2
   See if he's bored when you talk about yourself. Does he get bored quickly when you discuss your work, your hobbies, your activities, general daily issues? Does he try to stop the discussion and turn it back into "fixing everything with a snuggle on the couch"?. If so, he might be pushing aside the emotional entanglement of a real relationship just so that he can keep open the using side without feelings of guilt.
3. 3
   See if he never seems to care how you're feeling. Have you never heard him ask if you're upset, ask how your day was, or just wonder why you had tears in your eyes? If he seems absolutely allergic to your emotions, then chances are it's not because he's too shy to ask or too awkward to help you deal, but it's because, well, he just doesn't really care that much. If he's just into you for sex, then any of your complicated, messy feelings will be a hurdle for him and nothing more.
4. 4
   See if he tells you he doesn't want a relationship. This may seem like a no-brainer, but many women refuse to see what's right in front of their eyes, even if they hear it. If he has told you that he's just into casual dating, that he doesn't have time for anything serious, or that he's just not a relationship kind of guy, then he probably meant it. You might have brushed this aside, thought he was just trying to play hard to get, or were convinced that you could change him. Well, if he has specifically told you that he's essentially not interested in much more than sex, then you need to rethink your "relationship."
5. 5
   See if he never talks about a future with you. Have you been hooking up for months and haven't ever talked about what you're going to do even a month from the day you see your guy, let alone next summer? Have you been at it for over a year but you haven't made any moves to get more serious? If not, then he may just see you as a temporary thing and isn't ready to be the boyfriend you want him to be.
6. 6
   See if all he talks about is sex. Is he interested in emotional discussions about feelings? Does he discuss where things are headed with the two of you? Or is he more interested in whether you've purchased new crotchless undies and if you remembered to pop into the pharmacy this morning for additional supplies?
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Method 4 of 4: Other Signs

1. 1
   See if his phone is always blowing up when he's around you. If he shows up and his phone rings off the hook, and he keeps looking at it and then shutting it off, then it may be because the ladies are calling him 24/7. If he's texting as soon as you step out of the room and abruptly puts away his phone when you show up, then you're not the only girl in his life. And if he never leaves his phone unattended, not even for a second, then it may be because he doesn't want you to see all of the sweet texts from his other side pieces.
2. 2
   Check out all the girls all over his Facebook. Let's say you're his Facebook friend, and you better be. Check out his profile and see if there are tons of girls messaging him, if he's flirting all over the Internet, and if there are dozens of photos with him looking booze addled and surrounded by scantily-clad women. If that's the case, then you know where he goes when he falls off the radar for five days; and it's not just because he's having a crazy week at work.
3. 3
   See if you've been warned. Have other women come up to you and told you to stay away from him? Have your friends told you that he's a player, and that he'll never be your boyfriend? Unless you think you can "tame" or "change" him, then these are bright red flags that say it's time to call it quits pronto. Don't think that you're different, or that these women don't know what they're talking about. If you've heard it from multiple people, then chances are, they're right.
4. 4
   See if you've just made no progress in your relationship. Has it been six months and you still haven't met his friends, talked about the upcoming months in your lives, gone shopping together, hung out during the day, or done any of the things that normal people do? It's okay if it takes a long time for him to say "I love you," but if he has rarely even said, "I really like you," and it's been a while, then things may not be moving forward because he only sees you as his plaything.
5. 5
   Go with your gut. Wake up! If you're even contemplating this might be a possibility, you've got a gut feeling in there that is trying to warn you. Look around you and assess the situation for what it is. How is it making you feel? Are you happy? Are you satisfied with the relationship as it is? Most likely not, meaning you need to start thinking about whether this relationship is worth it.

   • Guess what? There's plenty more where he came from. Move on and locate your self-esteem; put it back where it belongs, reclaiming your self-respect and keeping your physical health, emotional sanity, and sense intact.

How to Start a Friends With Benefits Relationship

The ideal friends with benefits relationship will let you have fun and hook up with someone whenever you're both in the mood without getting emotionally invested. Though it can be very tricky to navigate the territory between friendship and courtship, if you follow a few basic rules, you can have a no-strings-attached relationship where no one gets hurt. If you want to know how to start one, just be cool and follow these steps.

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Method 1 of 3: Picking Someone

1. 1
   Pick someone who is available. This means "available" in all senses of the word -- single being the most obvious definition. The person should not only be single, but he or she shouldn't be recovering from the end of a devastating break-up, dealing with the loss of a loved one, or so busy studying that he or she practically lives in the library. This person should be feeling fun, emotionally stable, and up for anything -- especially hooking up with you.
2. 2
   Pick someone who won't get too attached. Friends with benefits relationships often end because one person starts falling for the other. So, unless you want to date the person, or you don't care if the person gets really hurt, you should avoid someone who will get attached. How do you know who will get too attached and who won't? Well, you can't figure this out with 100% certainty, but there are a few clues that the person may get too attached:

   • If you've heard this person described as "clingy," whether it's by friends or past significant others, then you may have a problem.
   • If the person doesn't have a lot of friends, interests, or a lot going on, then he or she may have nothing better to do than to spend a lot of time with you.
   • If you know that this person has really liked you in the past, then it's better to avoid it. If you know the person has a harmless crush on you, then that's perfect.
3. 3
   Pick someone you already like. Key word -- like, not really really like. This should be someone who you think is cute and fun to be around -- you should like this person just as much as you like spending a day at the beach with your friends. If you're going to spend a lot of time with that person, then you should feel a baseline of affection -- just nothing too serious.

   • Pick someone you already like, but not someone you would normally date. Go out of your comfort zone and remember that you're looking for a hot hook up partner, not your future husband or wife. If you pick someone you might date, then it's more likely that you'd end up falling for that person.
   • You should have some natural chemistry with this person. That doesn't mean you want to stay up for hours talking about the meaning of life with him -- you just want to rip his shirt off.
4. 4
   Pick someone outside your social or work circle. Don't have a friends with benefits relationship with one of the members of the group of friends you've known since you were five, or it'll lead to some serious awkwardness when the relationship ends. Typical friends with benefits relationships only last a few months, so don't pick someone you know you'll have to see all the time.
5. 5
   Pick someone with experience. You should try to find someone who you know has had some experience hooking up -- even better if you've heard he or she is great in bed. Since that's what you'll be doing, it's good to have a sense that the person will deliver. It will also help if the person has had some casual flings before, so he or she is experienced in that department. If the person has only had one relationship and it lasted seven years, he may not be your best bet.
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Method 2 of 3: Hooking Up

1. 1
   Flirt with the person. Start flirting with the person by teasing, playfully touching, or just paying attention to him or her. Let the person know you're interested and give him or her a few not-so-subtle compliments. You're not trying to be coy here -- you're looking for a hook-up buddy.
2. 2
   Start hooking up. Once the person is interested, you can start kissing or doing something more. Tell the person how attracted you are to him or her but do not compliment that person's personality or say anything that makes it sound like you want to date.
3. 3
   Set the ground rules. Every non-couple is different. Some friends with benefits know each other well enough to set some ground rules before they start hooking up. But that can feel a little awkward and unnatural, so you may want to wait until after that first kiss or hook-up session. Ideally, you should have the talk before sex, so you know that both people are on the same page and that no one gets really hurt. Here are the things you should talk about:

   • Make it clear that you are not dating -- you're just having fun. Both of you should be free to hook up with other people.
   • Make sure that you won't see each other too often. You should see each other just two or three times a week, preferably at night. If you see each other almost every day, then guess what? That's dating.
   • Decide that you'll end the relationship when one person gets too attached. Unless you both start falling for each other, make it clear that if someone gets attached, it's over.
4. 4
   Enjoy some hot sex. That's what having friends with benefits is for, isn't it? Have fun hooking up with your "friend," letting loose, and trying the things you were too afraid to try with your old boyfriend or girlfriend. This is your time to let loose and experiment, picking up the tricks you can use to wow future partners. Have fun trying new poses, having sex in kinky locations, and just throwing caution to the wind.
5. 5
   Keep up your communication. As you ease in to your friends with benefits relationship, don't forget to check in with the person you're hooking up with. Make sure you're both into each other, but not too much. If you'll both be at a party, talk about how you'll act. If you're also hooking up with another person, don't be shady about it. You don't have to spill your heart out, but you should keep talking so you know what's working and what isn't.
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Method 3 of 3: Staying Casual

1. 1
   Don't forget to see other people. Part of a no-strings-attached relationship means that you are free to see other people. Don't forget this important perk. If you're only hooking up with one person, it may turn into a real relationship. If that's not what you want, then keep a look out whenever you're out at a bar or a party. Don't just wait to get a text from your hook up buddy, but look around and see if there are any other options for you.
2. 2
   Keep it casual. You can hang out with your friend with benefits, but you need to make it clear that it's not a date. For one thing, you should spend more time in bed together than out of it. You can go out for a drink -- but not for dinner. Try to make your place as inhospitable as possible so your hook up buddy doesn't want to linger in the morning.

   • If your friend does stay the night, don't fry up some pancakes in the morning, or give her a kiss goodbye. Be nice, but not loving.
   • Don't do things a real couple would do, like go on a mini-vacation, go grocery shopping, or go on double-dates with your friends.
   • Don't go clothes shopping together, and don't bring your "friend" as a date to a wedding or a party.
   • Don't get gifts for the person you're hooking up with, or call him or her just to chat.
   • Keep your distance. Don't see the person more than two or three times a week.
3. 3
   Keep doing your own thing. The joy of a friends with benefits relationship is that you can still have enough time to pursue your own goals, whether it's grad school, your love for painting, or just all of the fun times you have hanging out with your friends. You can keep hooking up with your friend while having plenty of time to do all of the things you love during the day.
4. 4
   Know when to say goodbye. There are three main reasons that a friends with benefits relationship ends: one person gets too attached, one person finds someone else he really wants to date, or both people just get bored and want to move on. The fourth reason is that there is a natural time-based end to the relationship, such as the end of a summer, the end of a long trip, or that one or both people is graduating.

   • Once you have a feeling that it may be over, then it's over. If you set the ground rules early on, then it shouldn't be too painful to have a conversation about ending the non-relationship.
   • And in the rare event that you and your hook up partner have fallen for each other, just sit back and enjoy the ride.

How to Tuck and Tape

"Tucking and Taping" refers to a practice engaged in by assigned male people at birth (trans people, drag queens, etc.) to achieve a flat front. Whether you're motivated by choice or necessity, you can use the steps below to achieve the look that suits your preference, lifestyle, needs or profession.

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Method 1 of 2: Tucking and Taping

1. 1
   Shave. Use a good razor and shaving cream or gel to shave the scrotum and surrounding area. Don't use a cheap or dull razor; it'll take longer, do a poor job of hair removal and tend to "drag" as you shave, painfully pulling at the hair. Likewise, be sure to use shaving cream or gel rather than just soap so the razor glides smoothly.
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2. 2
   Tuck your testes. What you're doing in this step is tucking your testes up into what's called the inguinal canal. The testes ascend back into the inguinal canal naturally when you're very cold or having intense sexual intercourse. Lie on your back. Push your testes up with one hand.

   • Alternately, you can do this while sitting on a toilet. Put your legs firmly together. The penis and testicles should be "squished" between your legs with very little visible at this point. Stand up. Keeping everything tucked between your legs, simply wiggle around a little bit and try to push your testicles up with your legs or thighs. This might hurt the first couple of times, but once you get the technique down, it doesn't hurt anymore.
     • If you're doing this correctly, it shouldn't be overly uncomfortable. If you feel faint, nauseated or in extreme pain--stop. You're doing something wrong. Regroup and try again.
     • Getting in a tub of cold water before tucking can help.
3. 3
   Secure everything with tape. Wrap the now empty scrotum around the penis and wrap several times with tape. Tape the penis (now wrapped in several layers of tape) backward towards the buttocks using a piece of 1" tape or two pieces--one on each side. This is to keep the penis in the center and pulled back.

   • There are two recommended types of tape--medical tape and duct tape. Medical tape will be less painful to remove, but be careful. If it gets even slightly wet, it will not stick. Duct tape is said to be the favorite of drag queens everywhere. It has a fairly strong adhesive, so security should not be a concern. It can be tough to remove, though. Soak in a warm bath and remove carefully. Avoid using duct tape if you’re freshly shaven as it can cause irritation and/or a rash.
4. 4
   Get dressed. Pull on a gaff, a pair of panties specially designed to hold a "tuck" in place. Or choose an undergarment made with Spandex and/or Lycra to give it extra hold.
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Method 2 of 2: Tucking Without Tape

1. 1
   Choose your panties. There are different types of panties that work well for tucking, so you may have to experiment a bit to find the kind you prefer. Pick panties that are made of tightly woven Spandex or some kind of microfiber blend. Shaper briefs and boy shorts can be good choices, but if the fabric is firm, you can pull of a bikini bottom. Panties that tie at the side let you adjust tightness accordingly.

   • Stay away from cotton or silk; natural fibers are "slippery" and can cause things to move once you have them in place. Cotton also has a tendency to stretch over time.
   • Try a gaff. You can purchase panties made especially for tucking; they're available online and specialty stores. They may be a good choice if you're new to this process, but there others who will tell you they're a waste of money. To save on funds, make your own by cutting the legs off a pair of control top pantyhose.
   • For extra "hold," add a girdle or a pair of control-top panty hose over your panties.
2. 2
   Tuck. Take your penis and pull it back between your legs. Push your testicles back as well. Use the penis to lift and separate the testicles so that you have one on either side, and they're nestled between your thighs.

   • Do whatever you need to do to fight arousal. If your penis becomes erect, it will be impossible to tuck.
3. 3
   Adjust the tuck. Pull the panties up between your cheeks in the back until the tuck feels secure. Once in place, the panties will keep everything from moving.

   • There are differing opinions about how painful this process is. Some say there's no real pain as long as the tuck isn't too tight; others describe it as excruciating but say it gets less painful over time as the body adjust to the new arrangement

How to Stop Thinking About Sex

Thinking about sex is, on one level, perfectly natural. We're hormonal, sexual beings, who are driven to procreate by our genes. But sometimes, sexual thoughts can become overwhelming, making it difficult to focus and difficult to get simple things done. But, it's possible for those urges and desires to become more like background noise as you go through your everyday life, especially when you should be thinking more about career, education, health, interests and hobbies, family and friends, money, etc. Read after the jump to begin learning to stop thinking about sex.

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Part 1 of 3: Avoiding Triggers

1. 1
   Know your triggers. If a particular person, time of day, or emotion always leads you to distracting thoughts about sex, learn to identify those triggers that drag your mind into the gutter. Create a list of your triggers. Maybe you always think about sex:

   • During a particular class like; Gym etc.
   • On the bus.
   • First thing in the morning.
   • When you're supposed to be studying or sleeping.
   • When you're around the opposite sex.
   • When you're at work.
2. 2
   Avoid your triggers by anticipating them. You won't be able to get out of going to math class because you always start thinking about sex during that period. But, if you recognize that you tend to get bored during Algebra and your mind starts wandering into pornographic territories, you can head yourself off at the pass.^[1]

   • Take notes if you start thinking about sex at bored points. By keeping your pen moving, you'll have to stay focused on the conversation at hand and not what's going on in your mind.
3. 3
   Make it difficult to look at pornography. While it might seem like a way to "get it over with" thinking about sex constantly, developing an unhealthy reliance or relationship with pornography will spiral into more and more sexual thoughts, making it very hard to get free from the grip of sexual thoughts. Get rid of porn in your house, and avoid watching it.

   • If you have a firewall guard in your computer, try to enable parental control and put the profile to teen so you won't accidentally stumble across any pornography.
4. 4
   Replace your triggers with other things. If you can't run into a particular person without thinking about sex and getting embarrassed, come up with three specific things you want to ask them next time you see them. Get in your own way and don't allow yourself to think about sex by focusing on all these other things. It'll become second nature before too long.

   • If you're always dwelling on sex during idle bus rides, make a special effort to do something else during your ride, like finish some homework, read a new book, or talk to a friend.
   • You could try turning yourself off by training yourself to think of unsexy things when your mind drifts into sexual territory, but don't punish and repress yourself by associating sex with tofu or dirty socks. It's ok to think about sex sometimes.
5. 5
   Make a commitment to yourself. Make a minimum goal to curb your sexual thoughts so that they don't distract you from your other daily activities, such as work or school, and commit to it.

   • If you need help remembering your commitment, wear a piece of jewelry or a simple string around your wrist that will remind you to power through the temptation to get lost in thought.
6. 6
   Don't beat yourself up. Thinking about sex is a big part of adolescence and adulthood, and you don't need to feel guilty about it. The only way sexual thoughts become a problem is if you can't focus on what you want to think about.^[2]
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Part 2 of 3: Keeping Busy

1. 1
   Be creative. Translate your sex drive into creative energy. Take the time you'd usually spend thinking about sex and instead devote it to a creative hobby, such as writing, painting, sculpting, or playing music. If it's something you really enjoy, it can provide you with an alternate avenue for catharsis and satisfaction, keeping your mind busy and occupied.
2. 2
   Distract yourself with exercise. If you're not in a place where you can do a creative hobby, try exercising. If you're working out hard enough, you shouldn't be able to focus on much of anything.

   • Alternatively, get lost in an engrossing book or movie, or take up a team sport. While outside activities are probably not going to get thoughts about sex completely off your mind, it will help to facilitate other thoughts outside of sex.
3. 3
   Fill idle time in your schedule by planning things in advance. Everyone needs time to relax, but finding yourself with hours of time on your hands might lead to backsliding and thinking about sex too much. Schedule your day full with events and activities to better yourself. Leave a bit of time at the end of the day for reflection and relaxation, but not so much that you'll get bored.
4. 4
   Cultivate a healthy sex life. If you're sexually active, communicate with your partner to maintain a healthy and open sexual relationship that keeps you both fulfilled. If you're thinking about sex more than you'd like to even though you're "doin' it," is it because there's something lacking or frustrating about your sex life? Talk to your partner openly and truthfully.

   • If you are in a relationship, use your sexual drive as a resource to act in a loving and caring manner. Be romantic instead of sexual and build your emotional intimacy.
   • If you're not sexually active (and even if you are) develop a healthy relationship with masturbation. There's nothing to feel guilty about, especially if it helps keep your sexual thoughts and urges in check. Abstaining might make it worse. If you're constantly thinking about finding a sexual partner, you can date regularly and keep yourself satisfied, freeing your mind to focus on more important things. Make sure this doesn't turn into a new addiction, however.
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Part 3 of 3: Talking about Sex

1. 1
   Talk to your partner. If you find yourself dwelling on sex more than you'd like in your relationship, bring it up. The person you're having sex with should be in on the conversation and should have a stake in your struggle.
2. 2
   Talk to your parents. Even though they seem like dinosaurs when you get to your teenage years, your parents have been there. Talking to a parent you feel comfortable with can, if not solve your problem, at least help you to feel more comfortable and normal. Thinking about sex is a common struggle for teenagers and talking about it can help.

   • Also consider talking to an older sibling or a cousin, if you feel uncomfortable talking to your parents.
3. 3
   Tell a trusted friend about your problem. As terrifying as this may sound, it is one of the most powerful and effective approaches. If you are lucky enough to know someone who is not judgmental and will understand and appreciate your goal (and forgive you, if the circumstances warrant), talk to them at least once a day about how you are doing. Have a frank conversation any time you feel compelled to think or act in ways you would rather not.
4. 4
   Talk to a religious advisor or counselor. If you're struggling with sexual urges as a part of your commitment to a particular faith, get help from your pastor. This is a common issue and you shouldn't feel embarrassed to bring it up.

   • Talking with a therapist or guidance counselor about your problem would be a smart idea. Knowing how to address any obsessive thought, sexual or otherwise, is something they can help you learn to deal with. Be mature.
   • If you suspect your overwhelming thoughts may be a kind ofsexual addiction, seek help from a licensed sex therapist and treat those symptoms as well. Don't let an obsession turn into destructive or dangerous behavior.

How to Tell if a Turtle Is Male or Female

If you keep pet turtles, it's nice to know if you've got boys or girls. However, unlike many mammals, turtles have no external genitalia. This makes determining their sex much more difficult, but it's not impossible. The differences between male and female turtles can be subtle and are easier to spot if you have one turtle of each sex so that you can compare. If you only have one turtle, then look for as many clues as possible to try to determine the turtle's gender.

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Method 1 of 2: Examining the Turtle’s Shell

1. 1
   Look at your turtle’s shell. The turtle’s shell, or carapace, differs slightly between male and female. An adult female turtle has a slightly longer shell than an adult male has.^[1]

   • As a means of sexing the turtle, this method is limited because you need to be sure the turtle is fully grown. You may assume that a turtle is male due to a smaller size when it actually has more growing to do.
   • There can be an overlap in size between a large male and a small female, so it’s not possible to predict the gender based on size alone.
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2. 2
   Examine the turtle’s plastron. The underside of the shell, which covers the turtle equivalent of a belly, is called the plastron. To check the plastron, pick the turtle up with care. They do not like be handled and may try to bite, so grasp the turtle from the tail end so it can't reach around and snap at you. Gently turn the turtle over so you can see the underside. In male turtles, the plastron is slightly concave (curving inwards), whereas a female's is flat.^[2]

   • A concave plastron allows for a male turtle to fit over a female’s shell during mating without rolling off.
   • The female’s flatter plastron gives her more room internally in which to grow eggs.
3. 3
   Check the turtle for a tail notch. Male turtles often have a small 'V,' or notch, at the rear end of the carapace. This is to accommodate the tail when the turtles mate. Otherwise the tail might be crushed against the underside of his shell.^[3]
4. 4
   Look for species-specific clues. Some species of turtles have gender-specific external features. Some species that may reveal gender through coloring are:

   • The American box turtle: 90 percent of the time, male box turtles have red or orange irises while the female has brown or yellow ones. Also, the female has a tendency to have a higher-domed, more rounded shell, whereas the male has a lower shell with more of an oval or oblong appearance.
   • Sun turtle: If the turtle's underbelly has blue coloring, it's a male. If it doesn't, it's a female.
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Method 2 of 2: Checking for Details

1. 1
   Examine the turtle’s claws. Male turtles use their claws during mating rituals with female turtles. They also use their claws to fight and to claim and defend their territory. Therefore, the claws on the males' front legs tend to be longer than the claws of female turtles. Again, this is more obvious when you have two turtles of different sexes to compare with each other.^[4]

   • The Red-eared Slider species particularly shows a pronounced difference between the male and female front claws.
2. 2
   Look at the turtle’s cloaca. Both male and females have an opening or vent located on the underside on the tail. This is called the cloaca, and it is located slightly differently depending on the gender.^[5]

   • The female's cloaca is rounder and more star shaped than the male's. It is found much closer to her body, at the base of her tail where it joins her body, almost disappearing into the shell.
   • The male's cloaca is longer and more slit-like. It is located in the last third of the tail, towards the tip.
3. 3
   Determine the turtle’s tail size. The male's genitalia are located within the tail, and to accommodate them, the tail is longer and thicker than a female’s. The female's tail is shorter and thinner.^[6]

   • Be aware that there is an overlap in normal sizes between male and female, so this can give you a hint, but it is not a foolproof way of sexing a turtle.
4. 4
   Combine multiple signs to reach a conclusion. The best approach to sexing a turtle is to use a combination of the suggested steps to come up with the most likely gender for the turtle. Bear in mind that some methods are less reliable than others in determining the gender of your turtle. If all the signs point in one direction, then it's more likely than not that you've determined the gender accurately. However, if the signs are mixed, you may wish to take your turtle to a vet to be certain.^[7]

   • If you're not sure what conclusion to draw, wait until the turtle is older and try again. It is extremely difficult to sex a baby turtle.
   • Be aware that you might have to wait years until your turtle is fully grown and you can determine the gender effectively.

How to Determine the Sex of a Chicken

Whether you raise chickens or just like to know random things about livestock (who doesn't?!), this article can help you out next time you need to know the gender of a chicken.

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Method 1 of 3: Using Color & Characteristics

1. 1
   Look at their down color. Easily enough, often a chick's down color will tell you whether it's male or female. Of course, it depends on the type of chicken you're raising -- if they're Black-Breasted Red, Light Brown, or Silver Duckwing, it'll be simple. The males have only two colors down their backs and a dot on the crown of their head; females have three colors and they all run up and down their backs.

   • Barred Plymouth Rocks can produce chicks that are easy to sex at hatching (they're black with yellow or white spots). With this breed, the males have yellow spots on their heads. For the New Hampshire or Buff Orpington types, the male chicks will have off-white streaks on their wings while the females will often have brown lines down their backs and/or dark spots on their heads.^[1]
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2. 2
   Look at their feathers. Female chicks (pullets) get their feathers quite quickly -- in the first week or so. Cockerels' feather growth doesn't go nearly as quickly. However, at 2-3 months you will see the long and pointed hackle feathers developing on the males.

   • The cockerels will start to develop combs at around 1 1/2 months in most breeds. It will start to redden in the males; the females will still be yellow.
3. 3
   Look at their size. Cockerels are usually bigger by just a few weeks old. What's more, cockerels (the males) have angular (and often larger) heads, while the pullets have smaller, round ones.

   • Cockerels usually have longer legs, too (look for spur development).
4. 4
   Consider temperament. Go into your hen  house and sneeze. The cockerels will probably stay put and the pullets will scatter! Talk about reinforcing gender norms, huh?^[2]
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Method 2 of 3: Using Vent Sexing

1. 1
   Hire a chick sexer for younger chickens. These people are trained to be able to tell the sex of chickens from a very young age. This is the most reliable method.
2. 2
   Have the chick sexer use vent sexing. This requires him/her to squeeze the feces out of the chick in order to open the anal vent and look for a "bump." If this bump is present, then the chick is most likely male. ^[3]

   • This guarantees an accuracy of 90-95%. You'll still get one or two males per bunch.^[2]
3. 3
   If hiring a professional isn't an option, take a look yourself. But note that this is very difficult and this is a paid profession for a reason. You may actually be doing it correctly and not be able to determine for yourself as well.

   • Again, vent sexing is hard and takes practice. You must squeeze the chicks stomach very lightly -- make sure you don't hurt the chick -- but hard enough to make him or her defecate. As it defecates, you should see either a little pimple-like protrusion or nothing -- if there's a pimple, it's a cockerel; if there's nothing, it's a pullet.
   • For specific instructions: Pick up the chick with your left hand with its head between your 3rd and 4th fingers, legs between 4th and 5th. Rump the ducktails up. Your left thumb will push on the lower abdomen, spreading the vent. Press your left thumb on the left edge of the vent up and over so that interior border is turned towards the chick's back. Ready your right thumb and forefinger to pinch the back right edge of the vent. Open the vent. The interior border is rolled back and genitalia is exposed. See anything? If you do, 'tis a male.^[4] (Or a very masculine female.)
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Method 3 of 3: Using Feather Sexing

1. 1
   Hire a chick sexer. You'll need a pro -- and this method is only good for certain breeds. Get someone with some experience. Did you know there's even a worldwide Chicken Sexing Competition?^[5]
2. 2
   Have the chicken sexer use feather sexing. He/She can use this method to look at feather lengths on chicks and determine their sex that way. It is less common, as it is only effective if the feather differences have been genetically selected for. ^[6]

   • If you are considering feather sexing, do this immediately. By about 2 weeks, cockerels have caught up to their female counterparts in feather length and volume.

How to Attract the Opposite Sex

For most people, there comes a moment where we wish we had been able to convert that fleeting moment with the mysterious stranger into dinner, a kiss or maybe just a conversation. Wherever it is, and whoever it is that you wish to attract, there's a lot that you can do to increase your chances out there. Here are a few basic pointers to help out.

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Steps

1. 1
   Meet other people by going out in public. This begins before you even leave the house. Are you going to get some coffee at your favorite café? Walk past a full length mirror before you take off. You may like to lounge around in pajamas while at home, but that's not a way to grab someone's attention when you're out and about.

   • Buy clothes that you feel comfortable in-- you don't want to look stiff. The whole point is that you show you care about how you look, but not too much.
   • Dress appropriately; if tonight's plans are to go to the hip industrial dance club, then by all means, wear your Doc Martens and leather wrist bands. Just don't go from the club to the uptown bar unless you truly think you can pull it off. Being comfortable starts by not addressing stares. More importantly though, looking good often means feeling good and that definitely pays off.
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2. 2
   Become a more self-actualized person. Aside from what you are wearing, always remember that the mind is the largest erogenous zone. Be culturally aware and interesting. Knowing a little bit of most topics. Truly knowing about the things that really interest you will genuinely make you a more interesting person.

   • Music seems to link many people together. Knowing about bands you don't even listen to is a great social lubricant because "not knowing" shuts down avenues of conversation dead in their tracks. However, saying you've heard Joy Division and really like "She's Lost Control," but think it's a little monotonous shows the other person that you've already given something they like a try and don't like it; likewise, this gives you a little time to catch up and formulate a change in topic, thus steering the conversation into more familiar territory.
   • Know yourself well enough that you feel comfortable disagreeing. Nothing is more boring and pointless than someone who always agrees. The other person could be so attractive your eyes glaze over, but listen to them really process what they are saying. Allow the words, "I totally disagree..." to roll off your tongue. This doesn't make you a jerk. It makes you a better person because you're putting yourself out there. Plus, it cuts down on your vulnerability to the other person and transfers it to them.
3. 3
   Laugh at their jokes. It'll make them feel more comfortable, confident, and relaxed around you. Just don't overdo it.
4. 4
   Develop a style. Any style will do, as long as it's your own. Uniqueness is crucial because it is what differentiates you in the sea of "other fish" this person has no doubt been told are out there. If you really like that goofy hat at the vintage clothing store and you think it looks good on you, wear it out. Don't be discouraged if people think you're goofy, chances are you wouldn't even want to meet those people anyways.
5. 5
   Mirror the other person's actions. This not only shows them that you're flattered with them, it also shows that you are noticing their actions.
6. 6
   Flirt physically. Casual touches are a great way to gauge the direction of things. If the other person seems comfortable with you touching their hand or brushing their arm, then you have a good litmus for their attraction to you.

   • You may want to start by simple flirting.
7. 7
   Make eye contact. Look into the other person's eyes whenever talking. The eyes have been called the window to the soul. Admire them. Genuinely appreciate the other person. Just don't stare for too long. Studies have shown that a person generally will gaze into another person's eyes for about 4.5 seconds if they are attracted to them.
8. 8
   Eat. If you are self conscious about your weight, hashing out that insecurity by forgoing a meal in front of the person you like is not the right thing to do. It makes people uneasy when the person they are with is basically watching them eat.
9. 9
   Keep yourself clean and trimmed. Clearly, you wouldn't want a smelly trash monster in your bed, so don't be a stink factory. Also, if you find yourself a little less than fresh in the wrong place at the right time, freshen up in the bathroom first. Easily explain this to the other person by telling them to "wait" gently.

   • If someone should joke about their hygiene, cut them some slack and joke with them about it to ease the tension.
10. 10
    Exchange phone numbers, email addresses, etc. Often the hardest thing isn't the "waiting three days" part, it's the time when you need to pop the question.
11. 11
    Ask the person out again, if it's clear you should take the initiative. You should gauge who needs to do this by your first meeting. Feel out what you have been talking about. Maybe the other person needs to get off the train at the next stop and you've been talking for the past 15 minutes on your way to work. In that case, ask them if you can call sometime. However, maybe you just bumped into someone at the bar and chatted for a few minutes; in that case give them your number and tell them you'd like to go out sometime. The difference is always in the comfort level you and that person have established. Obviously asking someone you barely know for their number is awkward for both of you, but if you've had enough time to build a decent connection then it's easier for the other person to give up those precious digits.
12. 12
    Never say "nothing" if a guy asks what your interests are. Don't say "eh nothing". Talk about it. He obviously wants to know. Even if it's something extraordinary, don't make a fuss about it.
13. 13
    Make plans. This might sound totally crazy, but in the initial few weeks of dating it's nice to know there is a regular schedule that the two of you can count on. If you feel brave, call the person and ask them what they are doing a few days ahead of the "date day" and then tell them something came up and reschedule. Only do this if you need to build tension. Exercise common sense; but at the same time, this gets the other person stewing if they really wanted to see you in the first place.