How to Stop Thinking About Sex

Thinking about sex is, on one level, perfectly natural. We're hormonal, sexual beings, who are driven to procreate by our genes. But sometimes, sexual thoughts can become overwhelming, making it difficult to focus and difficult to get simple things done. But, it's possible for those urges and desires to become more like background noise as you go through your everyday life, especially when you should be thinking more about career, education, health, interests and hobbies, family and friends, money, etc. Read after the jump to begin learning to stop thinking about sex.

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Part 1 of 3: Avoiding Triggers

1. 1
   Know your triggers. If a particular person, time of day, or emotion always leads you to distracting thoughts about sex, learn to identify those triggers that drag your mind into the gutter. Create a list of your triggers. Maybe you always think about sex:

   • During a particular class like; Gym etc.
   • On the bus.
   • First thing in the morning.
   • When you're supposed to be studying or sleeping.
   • When you're around the opposite sex.
   • When you're at work.
2. 2
   Avoid your triggers by anticipating them. You won't be able to get out of going to math class because you always start thinking about sex during that period. But, if you recognize that you tend to get bored during Algebra and your mind starts wandering into pornographic territories, you can head yourself off at the pass.^[1]

   • Take notes if you start thinking about sex at bored points. By keeping your pen moving, you'll have to stay focused on the conversation at hand and not what's going on in your mind.
3. 3
   Make it difficult to look at pornography. While it might seem like a way to "get it over with" thinking about sex constantly, developing an unhealthy reliance or relationship with pornography will spiral into more and more sexual thoughts, making it very hard to get free from the grip of sexual thoughts. Get rid of porn in your house, and avoid watching it.

   • If you have a firewall guard in your computer, try to enable parental control and put the profile to teen so you won't accidentally stumble across any pornography.
4. 4
   Replace your triggers with other things. If you can't run into a particular person without thinking about sex and getting embarrassed, come up with three specific things you want to ask them next time you see them. Get in your own way and don't allow yourself to think about sex by focusing on all these other things. It'll become second nature before too long.

   • If you're always dwelling on sex during idle bus rides, make a special effort to do something else during your ride, like finish some homework, read a new book, or talk to a friend.
   • You could try turning yourself off by training yourself to think of unsexy things when your mind drifts into sexual territory, but don't punish and repress yourself by associating sex with tofu or dirty socks. It's ok to think about sex sometimes.
5. 5
   Make a commitment to yourself. Make a minimum goal to curb your sexual thoughts so that they don't distract you from your other daily activities, such as work or school, and commit to it.

   • If you need help remembering your commitment, wear a piece of jewelry or a simple string around your wrist that will remind you to power through the temptation to get lost in thought.
6. 6
   Don't beat yourself up. Thinking about sex is a big part of adolescence and adulthood, and you don't need to feel guilty about it. The only way sexual thoughts become a problem is if you can't focus on what you want to think about.^[2]
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Part 2 of 3: Keeping Busy

1. 1
   Be creative. Translate your sex drive into creative energy. Take the time you'd usually spend thinking about sex and instead devote it to a creative hobby, such as writing, painting, sculpting, or playing music. If it's something you really enjoy, it can provide you with an alternate avenue for catharsis and satisfaction, keeping your mind busy and occupied.
2. 2
   Distract yourself with exercise. If you're not in a place where you can do a creative hobby, try exercising. If you're working out hard enough, you shouldn't be able to focus on much of anything.

   • Alternatively, get lost in an engrossing book or movie, or take up a team sport. While outside activities are probably not going to get thoughts about sex completely off your mind, it will help to facilitate other thoughts outside of sex.
3. 3
   Fill idle time in your schedule by planning things in advance. Everyone needs time to relax, but finding yourself with hours of time on your hands might lead to backsliding and thinking about sex too much. Schedule your day full with events and activities to better yourself. Leave a bit of time at the end of the day for reflection and relaxation, but not so much that you'll get bored.
4. 4
   Cultivate a healthy sex life. If you're sexually active, communicate with your partner to maintain a healthy and open sexual relationship that keeps you both fulfilled. If you're thinking about sex more than you'd like to even though you're "doin' it," is it because there's something lacking or frustrating about your sex life? Talk to your partner openly and truthfully.

   • If you are in a relationship, use your sexual drive as a resource to act in a loving and caring manner. Be romantic instead of sexual and build your emotional intimacy.
   • If you're not sexually active (and even if you are) develop a healthy relationship with masturbation. There's nothing to feel guilty about, especially if it helps keep your sexual thoughts and urges in check. Abstaining might make it worse. If you're constantly thinking about finding a sexual partner, you can date regularly and keep yourself satisfied, freeing your mind to focus on more important things. Make sure this doesn't turn into a new addiction, however.
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Part 3 of 3: Talking about Sex

1. 1
   Talk to your partner. If you find yourself dwelling on sex more than you'd like in your relationship, bring it up. The person you're having sex with should be in on the conversation and should have a stake in your struggle.
2. 2
   Talk to your parents. Even though they seem like dinosaurs when you get to your teenage years, your parents have been there. Talking to a parent you feel comfortable with can, if not solve your problem, at least help you to feel more comfortable and normal. Thinking about sex is a common struggle for teenagers and talking about it can help.

   • Also consider talking to an older sibling or a cousin, if you feel uncomfortable talking to your parents.
3. 3
   Tell a trusted friend about your problem. As terrifying as this may sound, it is one of the most powerful and effective approaches. If you are lucky enough to know someone who is not judgmental and will understand and appreciate your goal (and forgive you, if the circumstances warrant), talk to them at least once a day about how you are doing. Have a frank conversation any time you feel compelled to think or act in ways you would rather not.
4. 4
   Talk to a religious advisor or counselor. If you're struggling with sexual urges as a part of your commitment to a particular faith, get help from your pastor. This is a common issue and you shouldn't feel embarrassed to bring it up.

   • Talking with a therapist or guidance counselor about your problem would be a smart idea. Knowing how to address any obsessive thought, sexual or otherwise, is something they can help you learn to deal with. Be mature.
   • If you suspect your overwhelming thoughts may be a kind ofsexual addiction, seek help from a licensed sex therapist and treat those symptoms as well. Don't let an obsession turn into destructive or dangerous behavior.